Sunday, 26 April 2020

Where have all the spotty pants gone?

At the moment, I am working with lots of students remotely to create a story and, along the way, I have seen a common trend. A trend that we don’t, I think, successful address in the classroom.

I asked students to describe a setting. It just so happened that the setting at the point in the story was a kitchen. The majority of the students decided to use the setting as an opportunity to symbolise the neglect the boy had suffered at the hands of his parents. The uncared for kitchen reflected how uncared for he was. I have hundreds of descriptions like this. The default description, it seemed, was child neglect and cruel parents.

Now, I would like to think this event was an isolated event, but it isn’t. I remember once how depressed I was at class’s response to a Paper 1 Question 5 response: a picture of a person on the edge of a lake. The class had to create a piece of narrative inspired by the picture. I was given the following narratives:

·         A man contemplating suicide.

·         A man had killed somebody.

·         A man was thinking about killing someone.

·         A man was on the run.

·         A teenager who wants to escape from bullies.

·         A man had just discovered that his girlfriend is pregnant. 

The class seemed to have written the plot of a week’s worth of Hollyoaks episodes. It did, however, depress me. Not because I am cheesy grinning moron who coats life with optimism, but because death and unpleasantness is so common in their storytelling. We know that films and TV are the key sources for their inspiration. That’s why we get cheap copies of The Walking Dead when we ask students to write a horror story.  Like Catherine Moreland in ‘Northanger Abbey’, our obsession with one type of story warps our view of things. I think young people are tainted by these stories. In fact, they are the dominant narratives in their life. Everyone is a possible murder. Everyone is a victim of something.

Reading is the key to combatting this. That’s why the best writers are always the best readers. They know that in a situation death, murder, abuse or suicide are not the sole options or solutions. Going back to the writing task, there was one little bit I loved. This line:

The rain sank deeper into Sam’s thin spotty pants, his dad’s grey work trousers and his mum’s pastel yellow cardigan that were all on the wet washing line.  

One student decided to use a washing line to introduce the family. There was no blood, death or violence and just, simply, a pair of spotty pants. But, those pants were more creative than any Marvel film or Eastenders knock-off. And, the problem is, we don’t see Captain America’s boxer shorts. We need more pants. Why? Pants are mundane, normal and funny. The student made something normal into something deeper.

The problem with students is that they take something normal and make it something dramatic. It is the shift between these two elements that builds creativity and imagination. It is so easily to turn a pair of knickers into a drama. Let’s put a pair of knickers on the washing line and it becomes a case of the father having an affair and the mother might not be aware of it. Or, maybe the mother is aware and that the marriage is on the rocks. Then, why is she washing the kecks of another woman? That’s a whole week of Eastenders episodes there.

We need to shift from the dramatic pants to the deep pants. That’s why we need to work on mundane events in storytelling. If you take the majority of the AQA Paper 1 exam papers, there’s a lot of mundane events.

Rosabel farts on a bus.

Mr Fisher sneezes.

Mr Hartop drives a van.

They are not very dramatic, but they are quite meaningful and this is what some students struggle with. Of course, they are not dramatic, but that’s what students struggle with. What has the writer done to interest the reader? For most students, nothing has been done to interest the reader. There’s no death. There’s no murder. But, that’s because they are stuck on the dramatic mode rather than the deep mode.  Like Catherine Moreland, they living a in fantasy world expecting things to be bad, when in reality they are fine and happy.

So, how can we help students move to mundane deep rather than spectacle and drama? Well, I suggest pants. No, not really. We need to bring the mundane to lessons. None of this crazy talk of structuring stories. Build stories instead from mundane events. I have created a table for the creation of stories and I expect to see one of them in a future exam.

Mundane experience
Profound and deep experience
A mother not valued by her family
a telephone call
Things in life aren’t always clear
A man who doesn’t want to age
opening a letter
Happiness is more important than money
A boy who wants to be like his dad
a bus journey
The world isn’t fair
A woman who wants a different life
washing the dishes
Love takes various forms
A man who is tired of life
Brushing teeth
Loss creates something new

A girl who wants to make a friend
wrapping a present
You have to be cruel to be kind sometimes
A father struggling to connect with his child
opening the curtains
Only you can make things change

A mother could have a telephone call from a school and from that she learns that he child was punished for standing up to another insulting her.

This allows for a change in perspective and type of conflict. It would be so easy for a student to describe a fight. This way we can see the impact the conflict has. The mother learns she is valued.

I think moving away from spectacle and moving towards mundane is key. If only the makers of 'Game of Thrones' did this in their last series? I am a big fan of Ibsen and this is a style of storytelling we have lost from the majority of film and TV. Small events with big emotional resonance. Instead, we have big spectacle with little or no emotional resonance. In fact, we have the music to tell us how to feel. Maybe, we need to be a bit more grownup with storytelling.

When we pick stories for class readers, we tend to select according to the taste of students. What if that taste or preference of books is limiting their imagination? What if we are reinforcing that domineering power of one type of narrative? What if we are promoting the ‘dramatic storytelling mode’ over the ‘deep storytelling mode’ through our choice of books? We pick books to be engaging rather than the quality of depth of meaning.

Thank for reading,


Sunday, 12 April 2020

Remote Learning: teaching dialogue

The whole education world is in limbo at the moment. Uncertain about what is happening. Uncertain about when things are happening. Uncertain how things with Year 11 are going to work out. I was all set for a couple of months supporting Year 11 and now that has evaporated.

Like most, I am trying to make the home learning work and work in a way that isn’t about widening gaps.  Therefore, I have spent that last few weeks, in isolation, making video after video designed to support students. I have been working mainly on creative writing so that we can develop, build and revise existing knowledge rather than introduce new content.

I thought I’d share how I have structured the videos for one week. Each one has a specific purpose related to dialogue and building on their use of dialogue in writing. The videos last about six to eight minutes long and allow students to pause and try out things. After watching the videos, students have to write three lines of dialogue for our ongoing story.

Video 1 – The basics

Video one talks them through using dialogue and attempts to clarify some misconceptions of dialogue. Generally students have a lot of misconceptions about dialogue. That’s why I have placed more emphasis on the purpose of dialogue. All too often, students use dialogue purely for narrative, and this is where they are missing out.

What is the purpose of dialogue? Why do writers use dialogue at a particular moment?

       Helps us understand the character’s thoughts / feelings / personality 

       Make us understand who are the good and bad characters 

       Help us to see the protagonist’s relationship with others

       Helps us move the story on 

       Helps us to add drama / conflict

Which one uses dialogue better?


“Hello,” said Bob.

“Hello,” yelled Frank.

“How are you, Frank?” shouted Bob.

“Good, thanks. How are you?” bellowed Frank.


‘Not seen you for ages, Frank?’ bellowed Bob across the room.

‘Been busy.’

‘We missed you at work. Thought your wife was ill.’

‘Nah, just busy,’ Frank replied curtly.

Common mistakes

These are the main problems students have with writing dialogue

       Copying a normal conversation and the rules of a normal conversation

       Writing lots of dialogue – keep to three lines at a time

       Too much phatic talk – How are you? I am fine 

       A lack of indirect speech

       Overusing names and verbs

       Not using  dialogue structurally

       Make all the characters sound the same

Take one of these and turn it into a three line conversation

‘You lied to me, Tom!’

‘Have you always loved her?’

‘You’re an idiot.’

‘Did you really do it?’


‘Did you really do it?’

Tom whispered, ‘Shh. Don’t.’

‘Come on. You can tell me. Did you really do it like we planned?’ asked Terry with enthusiasm.

Key Tips

       Make your characters have contrasting personalities

       Hint at something larger – something under the surface

       Don’t spell things out - you don’t have to say ‘I love you’ 

       Don’t overuse names and verbs – use them once, effectively

       Stick to two or three lines of dialogue at a time

Video 2 – Building sentences

Video two gives them an example sentence and students use the structure of that sentence to create their own sentence. The example here is getting students to use two bits of dialogue added to a bit of narrative action.

There,’ said the schoolmaster as they stepped in together; ‘this is our shop, Nickleby.’

                                    Nicholas Nickleby, Charles Dickens 

 Sentence Broken Down 


said the schoolmaster as they stepped in together;

‘this is our shop, Nickleby.’


‘Hello,’ said the woman as she removed her helmet slowly; ‘I didn’t expect to meet you here.’

Video 3 – Pushing it further

Video three aims to develop the sophistication and subtly of the dialogue and making it do something more than just be about a conversation, building in inferences and subtext. I talk through each one and explain how they add meaning.

Looking at how tone can be used

I talked about the use of italic and inverted commas to help emphasise the tone of sentence.

‘Did you really do it?’

Tom whispered, ‘Shh. Don’t.’

‘Come on. You can tell me. Did you really do ‘it’ like we planned?’ asked Terry with enthusiasm.

Looking at how pauses can be used

‘Did you… really do it?’

Tom whispered, ‘Shh. Don’t.’

‘Come on. You can tell… me. Did you really do ‘it’ like …we planned?’ asked Terry with enthusiasm.

Looking at how body language can be used

‘Did you… really do it?’

Tom whispered, ‘Shh. Don’t.’ His eyes didn’t meet Terry’s eyes.

‘Come on. You can tell… me. Did you really do it like …we planned?’ asked Terry with enthusiasm.

Looking at how indirect speech can be used

‘Did you… really do it?’

Tom whispered, ‘Shh. Don’t.’ His eyes didn’t meet Terry’s eyes.

‘Come on. You can tell… me. Did you really do it like …we planned?’ asked Terry with enthusiasm.

He refused to speak to me. He’d not even answer my questions. 

Exploring the impact of choices with a different example

‘You lied to… me, Tom!’

‘I didn’t really lie, but avoided …telling the truth. You see: I wanted to protect you.’

Tom stood up and raised himself to his full height.

‘Protect me! Protect me from what… No, protect me from …who?’

Jasmine stopped talking. She knew that he’d never answer her questions, no matter how many times she asked him.

What do these subtle things do to the dialogue?

       Sense of shock

       Thought they had a strong relationship

       Defensive and not willing to back down

       Sense of hopelessness

I have to say that making PowerPoint videos in six to eight minutes is helping to channel my thinking on ideas. My thinking is having to be more precise and relevant. It is challenging time, but we adapt, nonetheless.  And, I will be able to use these in lessons, when all this is over.

Feel free to use the content here and I’ll be happy to share more of these, if people find them of use.

Stay safe,


P.S. I will not be sharing the videos I have made. I am happy for the likes of others to make them, but I’d rather not inflict my voice on society.