The new AQA English Language GCSE
has a bullet point on Question 2, Paper 1, suggesting students might want to
comment on sentences. Well sentence forms, if we are going to be pedantic about
things. It is a small bullet point, so it might be easily missed when students
franticly write an answer to the question: How does the writer use language to
describe…?
I have a lot of problems with asking students to write about
sentences. I love a good sentence. They are squishy and joyously fun to squeeze
and poke. I love a crisp, brief sentence like Susan Hill’s sentences when she
isn’t writing horror stories. I also love crammed sentence like the one’s
Dickens uses. Go on, just add another clause. The problem I have is that we are
often so basic when talking about sentences.
In fact, part of the problem comes from the language we have
to describe a sentence. The basic terms of simple, compound and complex
actually hinder expression. I have seen students crow bar the following phrases
into their analysis.
The writer uses a
simple sentence to show how simple his thoughts are at the moment.
The writer uses a
complex sentence to show how complex his thoughts are at the moment.
Sadly, the words simple, complex and compound are very
misleading to students because of the terms alone. If a student then has
cottoned on that you could replace simple, compound and complex sentences with
long and short sentences, you then get sentences like these ones:
The writer uses a
long sentence to create atmosphere and slow things down.
The writer uses a
short sentence to create pace.
The problem is that students have, at this point, not said
anything precise, or even meaningful about the texts. In their heads, it might
sound good, but in reality they are pretty bland and meaningless. Part of the
problem is the terminology. Another part of the problem is the fact that
students view sentences as something to be analysed in isolation. All sentences
have hidden tendrils. They link to the sentences before and after them
invisibly. Therefore, any discussion on sentences must focus on the rest of the
sentences. Take this example extract from ‘The Stranger’ by Albert Camus. It
isn’t likely to be in the actual exam, because there isn’t enough for a student
to talk about in terms of techniques; but it is enough for looking at
sentences. Along as you have more than three sentences, you can say something
meaningful.
Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know. I had a telegram
from the home: ‘Mother passed away. Funeral tomorrow. Yours sincerely.’ That
doesn’t mean anything. It may have been yesterday.
Source: The Stranger by Albert Camus
So, what can we say about it? Well, it has lots of short
sentences, so the writer is building up the pace of the story. The sentences
are mainly simple, so this shows us that the narrator has simple thoughts about
the death. Wrong! You can see how meaningless these terms can be.
I think students should know what the subject of a sentence
is and be able to spot the subject in a sentence. Look at the extract and you
see the following subjects.
1: Mother
2: ?
3: I
4: That
5: It
Sentences two and three are a little bit more complex, so I
will come back to those later. What is interesting for me is the fact that the
subject changes across the extract and more importantly the first sentence
refers directly to the mother and the last sentence indirectly refers to the
mother.
The subject of the
last sentence refers to ‘it’ which creates a sense of distance compared to the
first sentence which refers directly to the ‘mother’ and her death.
The first sentence
has the ‘mother’ as the subject to reflect the shocked the narrator had to the
event. The lack of any other words describing the subject highlights a lack of
connection or thought. The voice doesn’t refer to her as ‘my mother’ or even
use a more personal noun to describe her like ‘mum’ or ‘mummy’ suggests there
is a level of detachment.
Now, sentence two is quite interesting, because it is a
grammatically incomplete. It should be a continuation of the first sentence
joined by the co-ordinating conjunction ‘or’. The telegram message as part of
sentence three is full of broken sentences, but that’s the convention of
telegram writing.
The writer uses a grammatically
incomplete sentence to create a level of informality and make the writing seem
conversational. Therefore, the reader develops a personal connection to the narrator
as they are speaking to them personally.
The ends of the sentences are interesting too: today,
yesterday, tomorrow, yesterday.
The writer tends to
end sentences with a reference to a time which adds to the sense of confusion
of the narrator and highlight a level of obsession.
In our teaching of the language questions, I feel that we
need to be especially cautious with how we present it. Students need some clear
structured teaching. Simple terminology will not work alone. In fact, I’d
actively work against students use the words simple, compound, complex, long
and short. I’d use these questions instead.
What is interesting
about the way sentences start/end?
What is the subject of
each sentence?
What is the
connection /changes between the subjects?
How are the sentences
structured?
Are sentences
complete or incomplete?
How are the sentences
linked?
From that starting point, I feel you come to most
interesting points when talking about sentences. Then, you can add relevant
terminology. However, there is nothing better for sentences than identifying
the subject of each and every sentence. Then, look at how each sentence is
linked.
It is interesting to note that identifying the subject of a
sentence is directly supporting the structure question (Question 3) on the
paper. My advice for teaching questions 2 and 3 on Paper 1 is focus on subject,
subject and subject. Understand the subject of the sentences and extract and
the rest follows.
No sentence is an island, so let’s stop treating them as
discreet islands of meaning. Students, in fairness, only need to say one
meaningful thing about sentences for question 2. We just want that point to be meaningful and thoughtful.
They can only be meaningful if students can see the trade routes in and out of
that island.
Thanks for reading,
Xris
Good thoughts Chris. I wonder if your pupils might benefit just by using the sentence type instead of the "word/phrase" part of their analysis so, "The writer uses uses the adjective "brittle" in the simple sentence "Her voice had a nasal brittle quality." to convey a sense of Curley's Wife's fragility." Or "The blunt simple sentence, "The girl is dead now." highlights Mitch' s clumsiness and awkwardness when trying to talk with Blanche." Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteDave :) @davowillz
Cheers, David. I see what you are saying. However, the first example isn't really explaining the choice of a sentence. The second example does, but the danger is relevance. It works here, but will it work for every short sentence? The worry is that students will hunt out a short sentence and zoom in on it, rather than think about the use of sentences. ;)
ReplyDeleteCould they also look at the mix of statements, questions, commands or exclamations, as well as non-standard grammatical forms, to fulfil 'sentence forms'? I've found this helpful as long as they learn to link the form of the sentence to its content/meaning. For instance, in that Camus example, the series of bald declaratives produces a dull, informative tone that suggests suppressed emotion or detachment.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly a tough ask though isn't it to be expecting students in a timed exam to be able to produce such sophisticated analysis. I reckon i would need a fair amount of time to get to this level of analysis. But as you say, it is only 1 example required, so i guess they can actively search for it with the question frames you've suggested in mind?
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