A question of tone and not techniques

In the time I have been teaching, I have seen the teaching of English compartmentalised in so many different ways. And, dear reader, you cannot put it solely at the hands of the GCSE exams. We’ve had the National Curriculum and APP grids along the way. They all attempt to make the subject an easily digestible tick list. When you do that, you see the general focus is one making the abstract concrete. You see limiting writing structures for analysis. You see an emphasis on concrete knowledge like facts around historical context and identification of techniques. We see students able to repeat facts and spot techniques, but they cannot explain why they are used. This then leads to the teacher having to explicitly teach why a technique is used. And, this repeats on and on. 

Tone is the single biggest thing that improves writing and reading across all levels. It is everywhere in our subject yet it is nowhere at the same time. Tone is something that glues words, sentences, techniques and paragraphs together. It is something that connects the reader to the writer. It is something that links the context to the writer’s purpose. It is hidden below the subject of a text and it is the seam of gold that helps students unlock meaning and understanding. Yet, it is something so hard to compartmentalise. Yes, you can name it for sure, but you can’t really define it fully because it sits across so many domains and processes.  

Look at how tone is everywhere in the AQA English exams: 

English Language

Reading 

Paper 1 - the narrator’s tone, the individual tone of characters, the writer’s own tone 

Paper 2 - the tone of the writer is both extracts 

Writing 

Paper 1 - the tone of their characters, the tone of their writing 

Paper 2 - the tone of their writing 

English Literature 

Shakespeare 

The tone of the extract, the tone of the character, the tone of the writer. 

Pre1914 Novel 

The tone of the extract, the tone of the character, the tone of the writer. 

Modern Text 

The tone of the extract, the tone of the character, the tone of the writer. 

Poetry Anthology 

The tone of the extract, the tone of the voice,  the tone of the writer. 

Repeat for the other poem 

Unseen poetry 

The tone of the extract, the tone of the voice,  the tone of the writer. 

Tone is everywhere in English, because it is literally everywhere in life. If students are receptive to the concept of tone, we have a seam of gold to mine in the English classroom. 

The problem in English lessons is that the questions become focused on the microdetails. Specific words. Specific techniques. Why did Dickens describe Scrooge as an ‘oyster’? When exploring that question, we are exploring quite precise knowledge. What is an oyster? What is the symbolism of oysters? If you know nothing about oysters, then you are stuck. Not many students know what an oyster is, so you are on a losing foot from the start.  

When we move the questioning away from microdetail, we focus more on the interconnectivity within a text. Take the following question: How does Dickens create a sympathetic tone in Stave 1? To respond to that question, you have to join parts of the text together, whether they be plot detail or writer’s methods. But, there’s also a personal aspect. The evidence to support the point can vary from student to student. The questioning can then be layered up. Why is Dickens so sympathetic here? What isn’t he sympathetic about? Interestingly, what is empathic about? 

Teaching tone in literature texts is paramount, but it isn’t a concrete thing. There’s more than one technique to show pity. More than one technique to show anger. And so. I’d argue that instead of using pretty empty verbs around the writer when exploring intent, there’s more legs in talking about tone. Instead of talking of what Dickens is challenging in the story, talk about what makes him angry. Anger, of course,  leads to ‘challenging’.  

From a language analysis perspective, starting with tone means you are already joining up parts of the text. How is this extract comical? The use of exaggeration. The word ‘blubber’. The repetition of ‘again’. Then, analysis starts with what makes the exaggeration comical, rather than the tumbleweed moment of ‘What is the reader supposed to feel with this exaggeration?.  

From a writing perspective, teaching students about the subtle types of tone they can use is highly beneficial. The default tone for transactional writing is usually Facebook rant or end of the world apocalypse. The better writers have a breezy and light tone that knows when to pack a punch and when to understate things. 

The starting point is to talk about tone. Talk about awe, frustration, sarcasm, irony, bitterness and so on. Talk about when tone changes. Talk about why tone changes. Talk about why that tone then. Don’t just give a wordbank of tone words. Actually, talk about tone and teach about tone. 

You’d think we’d give tone the same level of respect as full stops and capital letters given that they are in every piece of writing, but we don’t. There’s so much time given to techniques with the hope that students can spot it in the rare occurrence of it appearing in an exam. I can guarantee the text will have a tone. 

Thanks for reading, 

Xris 

Problem solving in creative writing

Over the past term, I have been working on quite a bit of creative writing with students. And, I always find with each year that there’s something different I notice or explore with students. As I ease back into blogging, after taking a bit of a holiday, here are some problems I’ve faced and some possible solutions. 

Problem 1: Too much action and not a lot of description 

We’ve all had it. A student feels the need to write the equivalent of The Lord of the Rings film trilogy on two sides of A4. Every sentence is an explosion, a death or a plot twist. And, everything is so dramatic. You could model the balance of description till you are blue in the face, but still within two sentences a man has discovered his long lost mother, divorced his wife and robbed a bank. 

Solution: class stories 

This does push students out of their comfort zone, but it does help to get students listening to one another when telling a story. Simple start the story with a small bit of context. Tom is walking back from the football game when he notices something strange. Then, I allocate students a letter - A or B. Each letter represents if they are focusing on action or description. We go student by student and line by line telling a story. 

Student 1: He noticed that the pitch was empty and while he was focusing on tying his laces everyone had gone home. [Action] 

Student 2: The pitch was surrounded by inky darkness. [Description]  

Student 3: White light shone down from the pylons above. [Description] 

Student 4: Tom moved quicker and scooped up his bag and coat. [Action] 

Depending on your classroom layout, you can place emphasis on the start and end being about description and so on. I love it as an approach because it forces them to work on problem solving on storytelling and looking at how things connect together. Why would he be the last one there? What has he got in his bag? 

I do this often because the students love it and it builds their confidence around storytelling. Starting with nothing is daunting, but this approach models to them how to build action and description into their writing and how to use the two elements for impact. If for example I am working on a horror or ghost story, I’d purposefully have more description students than actions students. 

The beauty of this is that you can question the effectiveness of choices. One action we had in the story above was a strange sound. Another student revealed it was a donkey. Now that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it spoiled the effectiveness of the ending when this donkey moment happened. It punctured the tension.  We then discussed where best it would go. 

Problem 2: Marvel movie storytelling 

We do seem to have a glut of identikit films. The fact that the sequel is more popular than ever shows us how rigid the storytelling has become. If students see endless ‘Fast and Furious’ films, then they see that rigidity in their writing. There’s none of the exploration or nuance we like to see. I want cars. I want fast cars. I want them to race.  Like the phrase ‘you are what you eat’, in storytelling ‘you write what you see.’ 

Solution: The Repair Workshop 

That show is a mastermind in storytelling and weaving the past and present narratives. I watched a clip of the show to see how they repair a piano. Then, pull out the narratives. There’s the narrative about the fixing of the object. There’s the narrative of the person wanting it fixed. There’s the narrative surrounding the person who used the object in the past. For example, granddaughter wants the piano fixed because she has no grandparents left and she wants the piano so she can teach her daughter to play it like her grandmother did when she was a child. 

The beauty of ‘The Repair Workshop’ narrative is that it is usually so precise, personal and emotive. You can start anywhere in the story. Past, present or the moment where the object is fixed. Plus, the narrative has a fixed core: the object. 

I’ve seen students really play around with ‘The Repair Workshop’ narrative.Starting in the past and then showing the ageing of the object. I’ve had students look at the object in the present and then tell the story of why it is in that person’s hands. It forces students to think about narrative structure and emotion in quite a precise way. They are not looking for hundreds of characters and plot points, but simply two people linked over time by one object. 

Problem 3:  Pace 

We live in a fast world and sadly writing seems to be influenced by that.Storytelling is always fast with students. They are in the rush to get to the next bit. For this reason, description disappears. Speed. Reading creative writing pieces can be like Sandra Bullock on a bus. If one bit of this story is not tense, then the paper will explode.  

Solution : Music 

Well, this is a cheat. There’s more than one solution to this. For a start, I ask them to write for an old codger like me. My heart can’t take anything dramatic or racy. I need sedate and slightly slow pieces of writing, which say something clever in one event. I use the exam texts as an example. My heart can cope with things like that. 

I get students to write a piece inspired by some music. I use incidental music from movies and avoid the Spice Girls. To get the idea across to students, I play the Jaws music and then show them an extract from Jaws so that students can see how the two work together. How does the writing match the style of music? 

Then, I get students to write a story around a piece of music.  It is best to use music that isn’t familiar. You can give the context, if necessary. They change their emphasis in writing, matching the pace of the music structurally. 

Problem 4: Dialogue 

Dialogue is lazy writing. Students know that. We know that. Yet, there will alway be one student that insists on writing something along the lines of … 

“Hello,” said Tom. 

“Hello,” said Roger. 

“How are you?,” said Tom. 

“I am fine. You?” said Roger. 

“Good thanks. How is the wife?” said Tom. 

“Good. ,” said Roger.

Solution: Get students to use body language to reveal what has been said. 

I love this because, again students are working on problem solving in narratives. I give students a small context for the story. Two people meet in a shop. One person says one of the following lines:  

“I am pregnant.” 

"I can't believe you said that!" 

"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" 

"I never thought this day would come." 

“I am sorry.” 

"How can you just walk away from us?" 

"I saw you." 

"Please, just stay with me." 

“The test result has come back positive.”

The students cannot use the line of dialogue in their writing. They have to use body language to show it. We know the people are speaking in real life, but we are silent observers working out what is being said. For me, this is great because it gets students to work on forming their own inferences around things and work on making explicit narrative implicit in the text. Automatically, it forces students to describe actions, eye movements, facial expressions or hand gestures. 

Problem 5: Purple Prose 

I have Purple Prose with a passion. It is the worst thing about English teaching.The chuck everything at the teacher kind of writing. My favourite writers all use crisp prose. Not a word is wasted, yet there’s an expectation that we are producing mini Charles Dickenses all the time. 

Solution: Focus on one word changing the meaning of a line 

The best creative writers are quite precise with their writing. They will use one word to add so much meaning to a story. A student wrote about a child receiving a present from his father. The child has not seen his father since his parents divorced.  

 

What does the word highlighted do to the sentence?  

1. Each present he unwrapped lazily as he realised who had sent it.  

2. His face was blank.  

3. His mother gave a pained smile as she looked on.  

4.The last present looked like it had been wrapped in a rush.  

5. His mother’s eyes were cold.  

6. The boy’s eyes lit up when he discovered who had sent the present. 

 

We then work on the following lines. We look at change or add one word in each line to add more meaning. 

 

[1] She sat eating her packed lunch.  

[2] The boy sat opposite her and greeted her as he usually did.  

[3] She smiled.  

[4] He opted for a cooked dinner instead of the sandwich prepared by his mother.  

[5] She felt jealous. Her sandwich was nothing compared to the meal on his plate.  

That construction of stories is often neglected by students. This simple approach gets them to look at how one word can add meaning. We are working on constructing inferences, clues about relationships and subtext with just one word. That means that when they do use a simile it is one good one that sings. 

I hope that helps and, of course, there’s more than one way to cook an egg, but I hope that has given you some ideas or some inspiration. 

Thanks for reading, 

Xris