Can’t use a simile without using two

I detest purple prose. Nothing grates when you’ve read your fifteenth example of personification by the third sentence. Especially when the setting is full of people already. The problem is that students haven’t learnt about the versatility of a technique. They haven’t reached a stage of proficiency to use a technique in a variety of contexts and purposes. By the time students reach Year 7, they can spot similes and use them freely. In fact, most of the issue stems from stopping them using more than one. 

What are the main problems students have with similes? 

• Resorting to tired similes or cliches 

• Stacking similes on top of each other

• Extreme effects and over exaggeration - His anger was like a volcano going off. 

• Similes sitting alone without any further development 

• Lack of cohesion with the rest of the writing    

Recently I read an interesting simile in Ann Sei Lin’s ‘Rebel Skies’. 

‘Despite its name, the building was neither blue nor did it look anything like a peacock. It stood in the middle of a narrow street on the outskirts of Tomuri like a sagging cake. The raising blocks had cracked on one side so that the inn stood at a tilt, the doors were battered by the wind and the clay tiles on the roof slipped dangerously, splitting onto the ground…’ 

We can see how a simile can be constructed for impact very simply and it seems effortless. 

[1] The simile is used to change the mood. We know something isn’t right about ‘The Peacock’ but the simile identifies what makes it wrong. The simile is a pivot in the structure of the writing. 

[2] The simile itself contrasts with the original image we are presented with. The place is called ‘The Peacock’ and it would, for most of us, make narrative sense and provide an alternative avian simile. A plucked turkey. A dumpey cuckoo. A fat hen. Yet, we are given a simile related to food and not birds. 

[3] The simile is extended and clarified in the sentence after. The ‘sagging’ connects to the ‘cracked on one side’ and the ‘tilt’.  

For students, a simile is just a simile and that’s where the problem lies. They don’t see it as a structural choice. A pivot to change the mood. A cohesive device that connects elsewhere. A simile simply exists on its own and in isolation in a student’s mind. Instead we need students to see the impact and how like a hydra a simple simile can be. 

I think we need to do more on the structural position of a simile in a paragraph. Students throw similes like confetti into their writing so that they stick to everything and appear when you least expect them. They need to be used like an engagement proposal instead. Carefully measured ensuring that the moment is perfect. Of course, you can throw a simile wherever you want, but having a simile hold the structure together is much more effective. Better writers structure their writing around anchors. Why not make the anchor a simile? 

[1] A simile at the start 

Simile 

Sentence 1 

Sentence 2 

Sentence 3

Like a cold winter’s day, the classroom was lifeless and lacked any colour. Grey walls waited for work to be keenly stuck to them with staples, pins or blue-tac. The windows stared impassively at row and row of empty desks and chairs. Coldness slowly seeped in.  

[2] A simile in the middle 

Sentence 1 

Simile 

Sentence 2

Sentence 3 

The garden’s greeness boasted itself to the rest of the street. Bright, bulging flowers thrust themselves forward like an ageing actor fearful of being replaced by a much younger, and cheaper, model. They were in the autumn of their existence. The colours were not as colourful as they once were in spring. They were not as tall as they once were in the summer. Their time was close to the end, but they would not give up without some kind of fight. 

[3] A simile at the end

Sentence 1

Sentence 2

Sentence 3

Simile 

As the garage door opened, light gently woke up the room. Piles of long forgotten boxes and cartons slept silently, hoping not to be disturbed. Dust blanketed everything and anything it could. The room held its secret like a murder hides his intent behind a smile.    

Now I don’t think I will win any awards for writing these examples, but they serve to prove a point: how a simile can be used to structure writing and have an impact. Able students often use devices to structure their writing while other students simply throw in similes without thought on how they can aid meaning. Students need to see and learn the versatility of a device. Too often we focus on the construction and not the use of a device. The fact a student can use the device in the first place shouldn’t be a source of amazement. How a student uses the device should be. 

Of course, simile usage isn’t simply the domain of fiction. In fact, the use of simile to turn the flow of the discourse is common in non-fiction. A serious article can flip into pantomime with one simile. Where to put the simile is the real  skill.  Where should I put the simile  ‘like some inflated sausage made of more sinew and fat than meat’ to describe the supposedly returning Prime Minister?  

Thanks for reading, 

Xris

Ditch the big whiteboard and not the little ones!

If I had to characterise my organisation skills, I’d probably say it was a poltergeist suffering from hay fever who constantly sneezes. Everything is there, but it is just scattered about. I have a messy desk, drawers and life. Thankfully, my brain manages to keep a track of things. I know at least what grid reference that one sheet of paper is located. Yes, it might take me a day to find it, but, at least, I can find it. 

For years, I have tried to organise myself. I used to have cupboards of folders, which gathered dust. I used apps, which metaphorically gathered dust. I used teacher planners, which were as useful as… dust to me. Forever, I struggled with organising work, resources, homework and whatever related to lessons. I am always amazed when I meet a highly organised person. What, you colour coordinate your work? You keep your highlighters in a wallet? You have a pencil case. What wizardry is that? 

Two years ago, I started to use an exercise book alongside each class and it transformed my organisation of lessons, work and students in so many ways. Simply, at the start of each lesson, I get my exercise book (the same colour as the students) and use it instead of a whiteboard or PowerPoint slide. Everything I do is in that exercise book. I have a journey of their learning and a journey of my teaching. Rarely do I write on the whiteboard. The whiteboard is ephemeral work. The exercise book is permanent. All you need is one visualiser and one exercise book. 

Tracking engagement with students 

I use the book to ensure that all students’ work is seen over time. Any student's work I mark or read in the lesson, I write their name in the margin. Next time I look at exercise books in lessons I check the names in the margin to avoid focusing on the same students all the time. This also applies to speaking in lessons too. 

I also track students for not having pens or missing homework in the margin too. It isn’t easy to stop everything you are doing and open the school’s system to log low level things like this. A quick scribble in a lesson and I can pick it up later. Plus, I have got a permanent record of it so I can see patterns around not having a pen or missing homework. 

There is very little time in the school day to log all the interactions and this helps me.  

Tracking work set and given 

Did I give them that poem? Did we annotate it during the last lesson? If you are human, you will probably, at least once, arrive at a lesson confident with what you are doing to be flummoxed to discover that you did it last week. It totally slipped your mind after teaching three full days in a row.  

I now stick all the worksheets / extracts covered in lessons in the exercise book. This is great for me to refer back to. Remember when we looked at that poem with the interesting use of metaphor. Here it is. Before, I used to faff about with folders or search for the PowerPoint related to the idea. Six pages back and there it is. 

For me, having everything in one place allows me to build those connections across units and lessons. Let’s go back to something we did in March. Exercise books are usually a conveyor belt of work. Each lesson churns out some work which is never to be seen again. The benefit of me having an exercise book of work like the students is that I don’t have to rely on memory to build links. I can skip to a month and get them to see the links or repetition of an idea. 

Development of teaching 

After I have marked books, I tend to set three areas for the class to work on. For example, 

[1] Use paragraph structures given 

[2] Avoid comma splices 

[3] Avoid using the most obvious adjective 

I then write around these targets with examples and non-examples to help students. They copy down in their books as I talk about them. 

Then, when we come to a similar task in another week, I start with the targets from last time. They are the starting point. I am not relying on their memory, which on the target and guidance front isn’t so grand. We start where we finished last time. The feedback from the last assessment holds more importance to teachers than students. Therefore, this way I make the process an ongoing loop and a loop that isn’t relying on the student to commit everything to memory. 

I find that I revisit past targets rather than add new ones all the time. Look, we are still making comma splices. Let’s look at where that is a problem. 

The nature of English is that work is often related to a specific domain. Therefore, targets are often related to a domain. The last targets set might not even have any significance on the latest work. That’s why I like having an exercise book with these targets. Let’s have a 

Presentation 

I never went to the lesson on whiteboard writing during my PGCE. I am jealous of others who did, but my whiteboard skills are not great. For a start, I am short so there’s only so far I can reach on the board and don’t get me started on my handwriting. 

The use of an exercise book allows you to model the setting out of a page. When has a whiteboard looked like an exercise book? There’s a level of cognitive dissonance there. We expect students to copy from a board that looks nothing like the thing they are working on. Is there any wonder some students place things in a random way in their exercise book? 

By using an exercise book, I can show them what to underline and where to place things on a page. I would be a rich man if I got a pound for everytime a student didn’t leave a line when I asked them to. Now, I show them. 

The exercise book also allows me to work at a pace that suits students. Often, I do tasks I have asked students to complete. This allows me to work at a pace that’s realistic. How many times have we asked students to do something and realised that we haven’t given them enough time? 

Modelling 

Modelling was the main reason for me having an exercise book in the first place. A place to store my live marking. Too many times have I done an example on the board and it has disappeared into the ether never to be read again. 

I keep each exercise book as a record of modelled examples. That way I have a bank of examples to refer to and use in future lessons. If I am feeling luxurious, I might even type them up. 

I have loads of examples to call upon when the need arises. 

Preparation 

Before each lesson, I open my exercise book and see where I am. Depending on time, I might even prepare some work or questions for students to complete. 

The great thing for me is that I have something physical and ready to work with. In the switch between lessons, there is often a big brush to clear the decks ready for the next class. I simply close the exercise book and put it in a box by my desk. Spare sheets or work collected is scooped up and placed at the back of the book. I then open the next exercise book ready to start. 

Yes, you might have snazzy PowerPoints but a simple ‘do now’ under the visualiser is enough. In fact, it is needed sometimes as you get yourself ready or mark the register.    

Missing students 

We often get students missing and that does come with its own problems. If I need to, I can simply photocopy the work missed. Talk them through it quickly and help them easily catch up with things. 

Everything you write on the whiteboard is lost to be never read again. Some of the best thinking and learning is done around a whiteboard, yet it is like breathing on a mirror. That brilliance is fleeting. There for one lesson only. 

I say ditch the whiteboard and write it down in an exercise book. Explain things using an exercise book. Model things using an exercise book. Teach things using an exercise book. It is more than a book. It is a record, a plan, a library, a tool for learning.   

I started using an exercise book in lessons to model work. Little did I know that those exercise books would help organise me. 

Thanks for reading, 

Xris