It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a male English teacher in
possession of free time at lunchtime, must be in want of male company.
I walked into the staffroom after a gruelling bout of teaching poetry to
a class and made my way to the section of the room that had been secretly
dedicated to the English staff. They were sat around chatting and eating salads
or sipping vegetable soup and conversing about teaching, life and what was on
telly last night. I should inform you that the group, at that time, was all
women. Often, the conversation did get on to admiring what the other was wearing,
but for the most, I was usually able to join in.
I sat amongst the crowd of eight English teachers (what is the
collective noun for a group of teachers? A critique. A sarcasm. A kerfuffle.) and proceeded
to eat my lunch. Oblivious to the conversation around me, I opened my sandwich
bag and removed the sandwich, or, accurately, two full slices of bread with a
slice of meat between them. I never cut my sandwiches up and this caused a
number of frowns from some delicate ladies, insisting a sandwich must be cut
and not left as a whole slice.
Munching away on my food, I could hear bits of the conversation around
me.
“What is it with men?
Huh. I mean, why do they like boobs and bums and legs?”
Keep eating your
sandwich, I thought. There was no way I could escape this minefield of a
conversation.
“Come on. It is silly
isn’t it? Men are always going on about a woman’s boobs or her legs. Women
don’t do, do they?” This was spoken by one of the younger females in the
department. The rest of the baying crowd murmured in agreement like a
parliamentary backbencher or nodded their head in agreement. They carried on.
“What is it? Chris, what do you think?”
I froze. Shocked, stunned and petrified, I had no idea how to get out of
this conversation. I was a twenty something that lacked the confidence that
some of my age had. I looked down at the remains of my sandwich, thinking how I
could escape the answer.
“Come on, Chris. What are you? A boobs man? Do you prefer legs? What
about bums?”
Oh, God. I was in meltdown. What could I say in that situation? How
could I escape this? The seating arrangements meant that it was quite
troublesome to leave and I would have to ask people to move. I saw the fire
alarm. Maybe, I could throw my orange and hit it. Probably not, as I am
allergic to all sports. Best to say something. My sense of humour had left me
and packed up and moved to Cyprus, so I was running out of solutions. If I said
bum, they’d think I was a pervert. If I said boobs, it would make them think I
was constantly looking at their breast. Legs, nah! If I said eyes, people would
be sick and vomit and I’d lose my integrity as I sounded like some romantic
poet. If I said ankles, I would sound like some sort of Victorian gentleman,
and we all know what they were like. Hair would make me sound like a serial
killer, so I went for necks.
“Necks,” I said with confidence, thinking I had
narrowly avoided a massive social blunder.
Mouths stopped munching fat-free salads. Lips stopped slurping on
weightwatcher’s soups. Every eye looked at me. My interrogator continued:
“Necks! You like necks.”
“Yeah,” I replied nervously, “I just find them attractive.”
Every female in the group made a subconscious movement with their hands
to their necks. They all looked at me as if they had just uncovered a strangler of English
teachers. Strangely the whole conversation just died from that
moment on.
From that day on, there seemed to be a lot more scarves in the
department and everybody shivered when I said I was teaching ‘Porphyria’s
Lover’. Suddenly, for one term, there were no visible necks for me to ogle over,
and it was the summer.
It’s all about texts
I am male. Not really a bloke’s bloke, but I am
male. I don’t do football, but I do do geeky stuff and I am mad about
science-fiction. As an English teacher, I have free reign about the texts I can
teach and the choices I make. However, I always try to make a balance between
boy-friendly texts with girl-friendly texts. Someone at the back pipes up:
“Good quality literature supersedes gender”. But, I question, whether it really
does?
I had the experience of being taught ‘Pride and Prejudice’ as a teenager
and I hated the experience. I like the book now, after my years of studying the
novel and all its glories at university, but I hated the experience then. At
16, I would read everything and anything, but this book I couldn’t. The teacher
was brilliant, but I loathed every second, minute or hour spent on the book.
Now, ‘Jane Eyre', which I read in conjunction with ‘Wide Sargasso Sea’, is a
different story. It was a book that really appealed to me. The darkness, the
Gothic horror, the harshness of it all had and has me reading and
rereading the book to this day. I hated the bonnets, dances and polite
conversation of Austen’s world, yet Bronte’s world was far more appealing. Both
books written by a woman, but they had varying impact on me.
I once had a friendly disagreement with a colleague about teaching boys
about love poetry. If grown men find communicating their emotions difficult, what chance does a teenage boy have with discussing love poetry? A 15 year old me would
struggle to talk about love, as I was sat next to a girl in the class, and I
also struggled to tell a girl I knew that I fancied her. So, Chris, what is this
poet telling us about love?
We have to be intelligent with the texts we pick.
By picking boy-friendly texts we risk alienating some of the girls. ‘Jane Eyre’
was great for proving this point as it was both boy and girl friendly. I’ve
made mistakes too. I taught ‘Lord of the Flies’ to a predominately female top
set and they hated the book. They got it, but they could easily be dismissive
as it was just about boys being violent. Look at some of the popular books in
departments and you can see that they often have male and female protagonists
(‘Skellig’ and ‘Stone Cold’).
Boys will be boys
My initials are CC and at primary school I got the
nickname of Class Clown. Like ‘Lord of the Flies’, there is a constant battle
for dominance in a classroom. Usually, for boys it is about humour. The person
with the Conch is the person who can get the most laughs. As a Year 9, I spent
times in Physics lessons laughing my head off. I know, Physics. But, it was how
you got liked if your weren’t the best footballer, or clone from the latest boyband.
Get a quick, cheap laugh and people like you. People always like the funny one.
That’s why in a lesson the lads will look for the innuendo in text or laugh at
the silly costume in a video, or laugh at the naked bottoms in the ‘Much Ado
About Nothing’ DVD. It is not survival of the strongest. It is survival of the
funniest.
Male Pride
Conflicts that occur in the classroom tend to
escalate with boys because of, simply, male pride. They cannot bear to lose
face. Boys will rarely back down in a conflict situation, if there is an
audience. It is the great challenge to authority. They cannot be seen as weak.
I remember my own fights and arguments with my own father.
Take the boy away from the audience and they are able to function as a
real human being and not an angry-stomping-fighting machine. The best thing in
teaching is ‘sleight of hand’. Look at this funny YouTube video of a cat falling
over, while you stamp a wasp to death.
Body Language
We tend to assume that girls are advanced in the
subtleties of human behaviour and can spot a dirty look from a thousand miles,
but boys are astute. A nod or a raised eyebrow can establish a connection that
a thousand words can’t begin to achieve. I remember a particularly
student, who challenged me constantly when we first met. Finally, he mellowed
and then all I had to do was nod my head as he entered the room. He would then
nod back, as if this was some sort of accepted greeting. It said that we
respected each other. And, he stopped other students from misbehaving. This was
all down to a simple greeting of a nod.
In the moment
I tend to be a ‘night before’ kind of person. I can
rarely plan ahead. It is ‘all now’ or ‘at the last minute’ with me, and I think
a lot of boys are like me. That’s why homework from boys tends to have that
look of 'writing on the bus' look about it. Have you done the work for Jones? No.
Lean forward Bob and I’ll write it on your back.
Our whole exam system keeps changing depending on whether girls or boys
are underperforming. If boys are underperforming, the terminal exams are
wheeled out. If girls are underperforming, then coursework is dragged out.
Girls understand that things need crafting. Boys know that if they do this
think quickly, then they’ll have more time to play football. Oh, and they like
the competitiveness of things.
Not all boys are the
same
I don’t like football. I am not like most of the
male population. Not all boys are loud, out-spoken and confident. There are so
many different types of boy in the class that rarely two are the same. These
might be some of the types you might see in the class: the quiet but popular
boy; the outspoken intelligent boy; the quiet reflective boy. There are loads
of them. Each one has subtle differences to the others. I think it is healthy
to not tarnish all boys as the same. And, for some lessons, boys will be totally
different things. I know of students being quiet as a mouse in English and then
become positively boisterous in a Geography lesson.
Now, this is where it gets
complicated: the girly bit.
Teaching girls to put makeup on properly
It is with much regret I have to admit to never having been in the awkward position as Chris’s, rather funny and painful, staffroom anecdote. I am embarking (or should I say, trying to survive) my tenth year as an English teacher and in all that time, we females have outnumbered the fellas. English departments do seem to be rather oestrogen heavy and I don’t think it’s a good thing. The rather interesting issues that occur when teaching an ‘all girls’class spill out into the female adults who teach the subject, a desire to be good, but not always KNOWING that you are.
I have been at my school for about three years now (do excuse the vagueness, I started in January, and, oddly my brain finds it hard to work out precisely how long my tenure has been). I have taught both ‘all boys’ and ‘all girls’ groups at KS4, and for all its old fashioned peculiarities, I enjoyed both groups, and learned a huge amount from the process.
Context is everything, I’m an English teacher don’t you know?
Two years ago, as we embarked on the all new and sparkly WJEC GCSE Language and Literature courses, I was handed a very able group of all girls. In fact, on paper they were the second set, and due to the gendered setting, they were a mixture of a top and second set. The paper work and data said that they were less able than the boys. (Their results told a different story, te he he). Now the management, in their wisdom, also decided that a) we would start the GCSE at the new timetable rollover in June and b) we would teach the outgoing GCSE English Spec in Year 10 b) the new GCSE Language and Literature at the tail end of Year 10 and into 11. Yes, dear reader, three GCSE courses in two years, bonkers no? With the benefit of the post GCSE English fiasco, it now seems a wise move.
Potential oestrogen focused pit-falls
Girls can be bitchy
Excuse the potential political incorrectness here, but I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a concern when I began teaching this group. I’d taught some of them before in a mixed gender group and as a new teacher at their school, bitchy-ness was their default setting. However, it was just that. Boys can wilfully disrupt as a tactic to ‘put you in your place’, girls use verbal mechanisms, bitchy-ness for the same reason. You will do wonders by modelling warmth and parental qualities here, modelling non-bitchy behaviour for them, so that they can find their own way to that more pleasant place. You will still potentially have a bitchy nut to crack and a fail-safe tactic is to be utterly, relentlessly nice; you can even use terms of endearment like ‘sweetie’ and ‘petal’ and you make it that much harder for them to unleash the bitchy-ness in your direction. As an aside, this is also a useful tactic with your colleagues. You know, the ones who are passive aggressive or just plain aggressive and have all the natural charisma of a bulldog chewing a wasp. Being relentlessly nice to them will wear them down in the end.
Surely, you’ll need a perpetually evolving seating plan?
The bitchy-ness could potentially lead to fall outs in lessons and a perpetually evolving seating plan. How do you get round this? Use your emotional intelligence. Get to notice and know their friendship groups. Take that into account in your seating plans. In my class, I had the core of the popular alpha females of the year group. When they all sat together, pre-seating plan, I couldn’t get them to work. I had to use the ‘divide and conquer’ rule, while at the same time allowing the well-functioning and productive friendship groups to remain together. Girls place a high value on fairness. Be explicit and state your seating plan is about helping them achieve, not anything personal and they will accept it with good grace.
Id, ego and superego
It is very rare they you will come across a truly egotistical or egocentric girl (or woman for that matter, but crikey, when you do, AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!) if they appear so, it is merely a front to hide a rather more altogether fragile ego. As I said in my introduction, I found my girls wanted to be good at the subject. Many of them already were, but few of them actually knew it. Even the most able student I’ve taught in many a year, did not want to acknowledge precisely how good she really was.
When teaching something totally knew to them, like Spoken Language, or something they are intimidated by such as poetry, an ego massage is required. Remind them what they are already good at. Tell them that they are capable as often as you can ,and, eventually, the ego will listen. Girls are more prone to worrying about getting it wrong; fear of failure can be crippling. Let them fail, safely, comfortably and kindly in your classroom, so that they know how to avoid it in the exam. Park your ego firmly at the door- work on theirs.
They can see through bells and whistles.
My colleague and I taught ‘Romeo and Juliet’ at the same time. The resources I was initially given were based around the RSC drama approach to the text. The boys loved it, lapped it up, but the girls found it hateful. They felt exposed and vulnerable and they were not, by and large, ‘look at me’ drama types. What did they like? Old school didactic chalk and talk. It certainly surprised me and I felt a bit, well, fraudulent resorting to such old school methods. I think, I have a suspicion, that they feel the security of needing to know they are being taught by an expert, and this rather old school method enabled them to see that once they worked out I wasn’t a fraud, they in turn felt more confident, they became a bit more brave in their own decisions.
Girls can see beyond the end of their nose
From the outset, girls can recognise that they are working towards a future goal. Boys struggle with this very concept, they very much live in the present, they are already pre-programmed to ‘carpe diem’. Why do you need to be aware of this difference? Well, if they already have this intrinsic, internal self-motivation towards a future end goal, beating them with a stick will do you no favours. You MUST recognise their emotional state during times of pressure, you MUST empathise with the pressure they are under and alter your lessons accordingly.
Towards the end of Year 11, they became more and more emotionally and mentally drained by the whole process. My solution? Give them a choice of revision tasks, and a choice of methods to use and get them to work in groups for moral support. Allow them to decide for themselves how best to revise and what to revise. Many, chose to do so at home, often asking for more resources to take with them. Trust them to do the right thing and more often than not, they will.
A final thought
So men are from Mars, women from Venus, boys from Pluto and girls are from Mercury, Saturn and Jupiter. We think that gender in the classroom is a complex aspect of teaching and sometimes gender needs to play a part in an IEP. Oh, look they have got this and that, and also they are a girl.
I have to say, after having taught all boys and all girls groups, I loved the experience of doing both. I found with the boys, and my group were very laddish, that some days it was like watching a sequence from ‘Gorillas in the Mist’. They tweaked each others’ hair gel and at one point, one lad gave another who was the ‘alpha male’ a shoulder massage; my flabber was well and truly gasted I can tell you. The girls were by and large a more co-operative bunch and by that I mean with each other, letting go of, or ignoring their differences for the common good and goals of the class. They are also worry warts and want more reassurance, a mix of giving it, and ‘cruel to be kind’ denying it is needed in order to build up confidence and decision making.
A big thanks to @Gwenelope for her contribution, wise words and help. Please check out her blog at: http://takenoheedofher. blogspot.co.uk/